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Tuesday 22 April 2014

Dear LIB Readers: How do I manage this wife thats now a thorn in my flesh?

From a male LIB reader
The purpose of my writing this now is to seek advise, else my mind imaginations and anger within can make me make my unwise wife pay dearly. I love my wife dearly and I cannot say of her, but she's always loving when we are on good terms. My wife pride has made her do things and she still feels ok with. I thank God she's not even a graduate for now, else no one would have been able to control her pride. Naturally she's always bitter, but I try to be in her good books, but lately, I found out whenever we have an argument and disagreement she makes food for herself alone, so for like two weeks, a housewife living with her husband has not asked him what to eat for breakfast whatsoever. How do I pay this kind of woman back, I have so many imaginations and ideas popping up in my mind, how best to deal with her everlasting, though, this her singular act can never make me forgive her, because, for a woman to feel its her right not to make food in whichever guise, to me its an unforgiving sin, I know wives shouldn't do that, but ill mannered ones can do, the price such should have paid should not only be divorce, but..Shes presently pregnant for me, our first child, I dont even know if I am cursing or something, but I dont wish her better sha....I can already see the future from this little acts.
The few people I have asked what if they are the ones have said their minds, I want extensive opinions, hence my writeup. Also, to say this, she's a salary earner and I am into business, so sometimes, money is hooked up on business, like earlier this year, I expended all money on different things and I also bought two pieces of land, instead of getting one piece of land, in both our names (Mr $ Mrs) and I told her there after, if I will have food on the table as the rest money is tied up on other businesses that will bring money, she agreed, if not, I would have bought one plot and have big money to use till money will come in from my other investments, but that's my albatross now, as she has used the fact I dont have money presently to feel  assuming, feed herself and make me feel like shit, hoping for when I will eat from the dustbin..What if it were you reading me now?

262 comments:

1 – 200 of 262   Newer›   Newest»
Alloy Chikezie said...

young man you are not living with a wife but a woman, total stranger


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Anonymous said...

Women are bunch of bitches, thank you God for making me gay, my boyfriend is a perfect gentleman.

Anonymous said...

Ufuoma asamaigor says......
Easy!! You have two options;
1. If you know hoe to cook then wake up quite early, cook a delicious meal for both of you before going to work. Do that for a week. Shame go kill am
2. To annoy her, buy takeaway delicacies from fastfoods for your dinner and enough for your breakfast, somethn u can microwave easily. Make sure its her favourite dish and buy for jus yourself lmao her eyes go red lmao.

Robot Peter said...

Some of these things make us bachelors scared of marriage. God please o... let mine be for better, for better.

Unknown said...

Not articulate enough. She's wrong though not to give you food, but it's still a one-sided story if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Dude please learn how to write in simple English.....no need to complicate your matter further.

Unknown said...

Sorry just pray for her!!

fikky babe said...

Ok. A hungry man is an angry man. No doubt. But like I tell couples in my counseling classes, you both need to dig out the root cause of this issue.
There's been a lil grudge, a lil unforgiven sin that has no become this big problem. More so, your wife doesn't seem to happy with a lot recently, hence u saying she bitter. U need to talk deeply and see how u both can find love again. Open up, embrace the bitter truth and make amends. Shikena!

Unknown said...

I will teach her a bitter lesson..she will never forget in her life...i don't mean beating her up but in another way round that will pain her.i will make her realize that what she did is totally wrong



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Anonymous said...

There is no reason whatsover for a woman not to give food to her husband .. if she Is tired of playing her role as ur wife, den she should leave ur house in peace. Berriee

NMA said...

Dat wife of urs is a heartless fellow,@least she shud give u what to eat,sorry oo

Okoro said...

Just quitely tune in to the game between atletico madrid and chelsea. PEACE!

Unknown said...

This write up is so disjointed...wtf!

Dididimples. said...

Did you even date her? She is so cruel. I guess this marriage is pretty new coz you said she is pregnant with your first child but guy, you do not have a wife I dnt know what she is but she is not a wife. First things first, if you can, change the name of the deed to yours only and keep your eyes opened, this one can kill...

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Well... I'm a woman, and also newly married and I gave my husband one million to start up his business which started today, I've been the one feeding us, and like every couples we have our bad times, but I will never deny my hubby food, at times when I'm very angry I toy with the idea of doing that but I don't. I suggest u talk to her ppl so she'll see its bad, u can also send her to her mom for proper training. Finally do all u can to stop it now before it gets too late, cus now ur marriage is new is the right time to set the foundation, its betr u seperate and she learns her lessons and comeback to u a betr person, even if it means u'll starv to achieve that.

Anonymous said...

She must be stupid. And heartless.she Shld be grateful she has a good husband.its just a pity I'm not a supporter of divorce.my brother, God go help u o.take heart.

spicy said...

Hmmmm she is so a bad wife...I pity ur future wiv such woman...

Anonymous said...

Wow! Your wife seem like a very bitter person like you said. As a married woman most of the time wen I get mad at my Husband, i tell him my mind straight off, but I don't go to the extend of not giving him food. That going too far in my opinion, I think you should sit her down and have a heart to heart talk on this issue as a couple. Disagreements crop up in marriages but it's all about how situations are resolved amongst the individuals involved. Wish the best.

Anonymous said...

my dear u are in a big trouble.There is nothing as bad as a woman with pride/ego bcos she wld never ever accept when she is wrong. Only God can help u bro bcos even the bible says " it is better for a man to sleep on a side of his roof than to live with a bad woman" and a proud woman is worse than a short tempered woman.

Anonymous said...

This one tough oh .. Which kind annoying wife be that ? Starve her sex.. Don't talk to her ..lock her out sometimes and beat her up most times :D *Nkey*

Anonymous said...

Being Pregnant can b rily frustratin or rather some pregnant Women tend to act funny wen pregnant, nevertheless she is heartless to always make food for herself alone, its rily not necessary, don't do anything silly, she is carrying child, just talk to her and ask her y she is doin wat she is doin, and ask God to soften her heart cuz it takes someone who has a strong heart to do such

Bonita Bislam said...

I would have said u shd talk 2her,but chances are you have.I suggest you bring your kid sis/couz around who will come into the house with food for you(lie 2them that your wife can't cook coz shE's heavy with pregnancy.Just to avoid disrespect from them).She needs to get jealous if this marriage should work.And for God's sake,stop acting like you care about her food.she'll get the message once you don't show interest!

Unknown said...

your mistake started from the first day you started dating her, and this is the same problem a lot of people are facing now, when you concentrate more on the physical appearance of who you are about to date or dating,you will find it difficult to notice some negative attitude, although in some cases people do notice but their minds tells them they will change the person when they marry, please folks dont be carried away by the beautiful scenes that plays out during serious dating,it should be the time to be very sensitive to study your spouse attitude and ask your self if you can cope with it when married, my advice to the young man is to give the lady sometime, just stay away from the house for some days,drop some money with her dont tell her where you are going,dont answer her calls, she might calm down when you return.

Oroh Tobore said...

Awwwwww
That's terrible.........
Just try and condole her, nearly all women are crazy
If you leave her you might meet someone worse

Mr_SouL Get Naija Twitter/IG followers/7AB109CB said...

Take her to TB Joshua... Snake spirit is worrying her.. Better still. Threaten to get anoda wife

beebee said...

Hmmm the lord is your strength oo

Anonymous said...

Since you've did not include any part where u said you have talked to her about this current behavior I would advice you talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel and remind her is it because she knows you don't have cash that's why she is acting up? If nothing happens or if you have done all of this man you have to look for ways to feed yourself take cash from your friends prior to when your investment starts yielding cash again or if you think it will take a while before you start having cash then I would advice you sell one piece of land instead of going about for months asking for cash nothing belittles a man more than when he starts collecting money from people he shouldn't it's a great insult. I would have advice a more drastic action but then I need to hear your wife's version before I advice something like divorce.

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Awwwww! I feel your pain. Many men are passing same situation.
From the way you explained it seems you've not tried telling her how you feel with this bad attitude of hers' seems you keep your cool till when she returns to her senses to loose it again.
In strong terms you need to pour out your frustrations to her. she's meant to be your helper and shouldn't use any slight misfortune to ride you.
Hmmmmm marriage no be to egg and indomie at all


~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Anonymous said...

She's not a graduate yet and is a salary earner???quite a confusing tale I must say.pls,whateva d case,tolerate her for the sake of this pregnancy.and never invest all ur money again thinkin u can rely on her to feed u both.May God help settle the rift.

Unknown said...

Eeyah. I feel u shld talk to her n settle things with her cos I feel she's angry with u over something wch u can only find out by talking. Pls divorce is not an option. Also forgive her for God's sake. God bless ur home

Anonymous said...

They both need to talk more n try to sort out their differences.

Anonymous said...

Pride is sumthg u can never change, i dated one okrika girl wit so mch of it, glad i found my genuine wife

Anonymous said...

Such wife is not in her right mind abi na belle dey make her miss behave like that.talk to her if she no change seek family advice or see ur pastor.

Anonymous said...

Now you are talking.... Its not about the food but about the money!You probably feel low as per kishi days are hard for you. Have a discussion with her. Also she is pregnant and might find it hard to cook. Have u helped her out before complaining? Treat her nice and she will reciprocate and stop looking for how to pick a fight. For heavens sakes she is carrying your baby!!!
I dont know why these newly married people are always looking for an easy way out. The grass aint greener baby...take it from me!

Amarachukwu. said...

Well...I don't know what to say becos am not married.

NA ME said...

Human being are just complicated. Sometimes I wonder why people get married. putting up with other people's bullshit is just a nightmare. I am married so i know what I am saying.

Anonymous said...

shutup and go and make your pregnant wife happy ewu Anambra

Anonymous said...

i didnt read d whole write up buh whatever it is trust me, God has a solution to it not LIBers

haters slayer said...

shit happen,i think you should stand up and show her that your the head,and that she's has no rite to act the way she does

One hot tamale said...

Damn! Dude your grammar is atrocious! You just gave me a headache trying to decipher that the rass you are writing.
I think it's your grammar that is ruining your marriage, invest in some education?

Peejay said...

I'll attempt an appropriate reply when my brain successfully overlooks all the typographical errors in this write up and I am able to make some sense of it. Till then, comments reserved.

Anonymous said...

I laffed oo, but it's nt funny. Try nt to let the quarrel between u and ur wife last, always trash it out immediately.

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Am short of words, men won't mk d society work, women won't mk d home work... My Mr. Put her in prayers, he'll answer you, I jst blive xo...

dhobiz said...

I feel like sending you both back to your parents for proper home upbringing,you're both immature and shouldn't be together

Anonymous said...

Simple,sit her down & discuss this issue wit her,call her mum,dad,'ur pastor & let them know what she is doing to u.If none of these wrk start preparing for a seperation for 1 month,if that doesn't work continue 'ur lives seperated & send her child support,life's too short 4 heart breaks.'M sure 1 of d above wld wrk & if any does drum it in2 her ears she doesn't 've monopoly over what she is doing

Unknown said...

Is her parents aware of her bhaviour?

Anonymous said...

Biko nobody should come on Lib complaining about their marriage like u didn't date ur partner b4 getting married. Marriage course in churches will always tell you to settle ur marital problems in ur homes,just the 2 of u nd not the public...I'm married too.

Anonymous said...

Are you looking for a sugar mummy or daddy please call dis line 08132333771 please be mature...

Anonymous said...

Divorce her, GOD will bring better 1 will come.

Anonymous said...

Lol. You are just funny. You think/write like a child. Grow up please.

Anonymous said...

please, forgive her. Women have a tendency to act up. Remember for better for worse. You guys should talk. Your marriage is important. Apologize even if you are right. And tell her that her actions are unfair. Try communication. Please, if you leave her, the other woman might be worse. Do something kind for her and say you are sorry.A bird at hand is better than 10 in the bush. Please, I know its easier to act rashly and pay her back but be the bigger person. And i respect people that have been in a relationship for a long while talk less of getting married. It's not easy , everyone is different. It takes a lot to live with another human being for a long while. I wish you all the best

Anonymous said...

I would have advised but the whole write up is filled with grammatical errors and hence my confusion and headache right now.

Anonymous said...

Divorce her, GOD will bring better 1.

Anonymous said...

My brother I feel your pain. No matter what a wife should not do that to her husband. No matter how my husband offends me, I can never do that to him as I still perform my duty as a wife. I think you should just threaten her by saying that you will have to get another wife as she is already pushing you to do so, maybe she will come back to her senses. Sorry about this oh but pls dont find urself hating her. Just be wiser....if you know what I mean

Anonymous said...

Wow. First of all this guy, your writing is so poor. Haba. Reading this was such a torture. Abeg na you need the school pass your wife. Thank God she's not a graduate yet. As her punishment, don't pay uni fees for her. Use the money to pay for yourself instead oh biko. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Ur very foolish for 3 reasons- firstly u said "Thank God she's not even. GRADUATE for now, else no one would have been able to control her pride" ,Hw can u be Thanking God ur wife isn't a graduate!
Secondly -U said she's unwise! Okwua! Why shuld u settle for an illietrate and still expect her to be wise!
Thirdly-Ur money is being tied up on ur business,u now expect ur "unwise" wife to be d "temporary" breadwinner.Hw dat one go be possible? U seem more like d illitrate and d unwise one!

Anonymous said...

Haba!!No mata ow ur husband has offended u,not givin him food is nt gud at all,a normal ladu shuldnt do dat,dats cruel,my dear my advice is just for u to call ur families nd explain all dis,den if she dint chaNge afterwards u beta tk two of ur tins nd just leave d ouse for sm short while u c she wuld find u nd start begging u,dats all u can use 2 get back at her. Divorcing her is nt d best treat cos of ur unborn child she is carrying...God b wit u bro...##Cherry Campbel##.

Anonymous said...

Is so painful. I wil advice, u give her some time to have her baby first, probably d problem is cmin frm dat angle. Most Women change during pregnancy, like always been bittter n angry for NO jus reasons. If it has been happening b4 d pregnancy, den u call her to order and also make it known to her parent nd her older siblings

Anonymous said...

Bro, pls don't do anything u'll regret later. Just love her d more and keep praying 4her to change. Make her to understand dat both of u are one and ought to love and care 4 each other unconditionally.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* english though. Anyways, I suggest you sit her down and let her know that she's pushing you too far with her actions. Seems you're a patient man and I commend you for that. For her to cook for herself alone is just very nasty and that kind of woman can eventually become worse. So take the time to let her know how her actions are affecting you and your feelings negatively. Hope it all works out for the best. Goodluck **kween**

Anonymous said...

The woman has no right or what so ever. Someone should please advice her. If I were her husband even if we reconcile tomorrow I will still not eat her food. She will have to beg and beg before I start eating her food.

Anonymous said...

That is very selfish of her. Imagine u bought d lands in your names . Haba

Anonymous said...

Is quite on fortununate is dis way, having not stayed long in marriage and sHe is acting dis way, my brother u hav made dat mistak in marriage but God will help u, firstly report her to ur pasto,secondly try and know her wicknessess and Avoid it.

Anonymous said...

May be is becos of are pregnancy women change during dat period, but if not u set are down and talk abt together I think she will change u just need to kEep on telling are dat are attitude is wrong I strongly believe she will change .

Anonymous said...

eyaeh! Sorry, when some women are pregnant they developed certain behaviors that are abnormal, if she still show such after given birth, then u both need a marriage counsellor asap!

Anonymous said...

Story, story
It's a man's responsibility to provide for his home

Anonymous said...

WTF. she needs to divorce your ass for this poor grammar

Unknown said...

Every marriage has its ups and down,pray about it and talk to one of her family member.maybe her mum

Anonymous said...

Abeg divorce this woman...the marriage has ended when it has not even started ...she is simply a wicked woman...that kind of a woman can poison you ooo my brother...better run for your dear life ooo...because not until she suffers the life as a single mother she will never know her right from her left..

Lisa London said...






**********************************
Come again?
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dodoni said...

Keep loving her for d sake of d pregnancy. And also mk sure Æ”☺u hv an extensive midnite talk wit her or take her out to discuss......

Anonymous said...

You need to learn how to express yourself better. Trying to understand this writeup gave me a headache so good luck with finding answers from others that understood.

Auntysilivi said...

what is this guy talking about? immature moron. i dnt think uvebin married for 6months. grow up and learn to understand ur wife.

Anonymous said...

Sorry o. Don't know what to say

Anonymous said...

first, i dont even understand ur language after some parts. but to say its an unforgiveable sin cos she didnt giv yu food, what if God had said it was an unforgiveable sin wen yu made dat one girl have an abortion for yu wen yu were both stil in skool? no be beg yu go dey beg? there r other ways to handle ur wife but unforgiveness is hurtin yu more, not even her. yu knew of her pride before yu marreid hher yet yu said i do, which means yu said yu r willing to put up wit her pride til death do yu part. if ur plans r diabolical dont do them, there r simpler ways to handle ur wife. i am speaking as a married woman who has to deal with her husbands pride. so i know a little bit.

Surest said...

I'm so tempted to insult u poster, how can you hold grudges against your wife for 2weeks and you both live in the same house, bring your lazy self to the kitchen and make food for yourself, just the way, you zip up for 2weeks, no love making, same way she stopped cooking for you. Get those ideas outta your head and start thinking of how to make food for ur damn self.

Anonymous said...

Thorn in ur flesh, see how u describe ur wife! So shall she be! Ur obviously treating her that we. There r 2 sides to every story and what men don't realise is that a woman gives what she gets! Talk to but wife and make her feel ur love emotionally!!!! U chose to marry her!!!! If it still doesn't work then go ur separate ways!!! Ur statement saying she doesn't deserve only a divorce is wicked!!!! U have NO RIGHT to do more than that! U obviously already belittle her becos she's not a graduate!

Anonymous said...

my dear instead of wasting time thinking of evil to do to her, invest that time in loving her even though she doing crazy stuff, be a better man for urself, for ur wife and ur unborn kid.
You are the king and she is your crown, whatever u feed her she will react please help yourself and family out. Make it work shower her with love and praise and bet me she will change. Commit your love to the Lord and He will take care of you cast your cares on Him because He cares for you!
Human advice will most times lead to more anger and hate seek council from those who truly are sold out to God

Unknown said...

Sorry,speechless.try heart to heart talk with her.thinking.......sorry to ask,dint U̶̲̥̅̊ court her?dint U̶̲̥̅̊ notice al dis?dint U̶̲̥̅̊ study her before marriage?
Sorry,just try a little more.God is your strenght.

Swagg isimemen said...

She's nt a good wife bros if its possible divorce her, she's a bad wife, divorce is just d best nothing else

Olubukola Ozone said...

The food wey na me buy wit my money or wich 1? She sef no go chop b dat o... But on d serius note, on no acct shuld a woman go dat far wit her husband

Anonymous said...

First of all no one understands what your saying.. Second of all are you sure you went to school? You should have read this carefully before running on this website to complain

tobbie said...

Truth be said brov, that ain't a wife. And the bad part is she is carrying your baby. I would have asked you to flank out of the marriage but your vow was what? Lol. Just pray God keeps you strong cos even the bible warned us about them.

Anonymous said...

Shuo! The guy's coherently incoherent. He must be really angry. After sometime you won't feel this bitter my guy. Sorry o.

Anonymous said...

U sound bitter dear ..... Why holding grudges for 2weeks ? So u both are so boring that u miss each other for nothing aside u not eating ? Nah una love pass monkey *smh*

Anonymous said...

Jeeeerzuz!! Terrible writing!! No punctuation, bad grammar!! I have a head ache!!

Anonymous said...

manage your english first then you start thinking of how to manage your wife

Anonymous said...

Leave that woman as soon as you can or you will regret it all the days of your life

Anonymous said...

U sound so angry and bitter, learn to forgive so that u will move forward. If she didn't make food for u. Go into the kitchen and make it ur self. How can u buy two plots when u can't even feed. Is ur duty as a man to put food on the table. U don't expect a woman to feed u and respect u too. The bible says a man who can't provide for his fam is worse than an infidel. Sell one plot and use the other to take care of ur fam.

Unknown said...

That s a wicked wife.only God can forgive such.pray for her,she might need spiritual intervention.so sorry for you

Anonymous said...

Firstly,as a married man,u don't expend all your income on properties,when the other money you r hoping for is not yet at hand .that s too risky!secondly,your wife present attitude didn't just pop up over night,you saw them when u guys were dating and choose to ignore them .Just give her little time BC she will surely change.She s a good woman BC I can sense it from your write up.

ary said...

Bros go and look for your wife, you are married to your girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

I refuse to give an actual response to your question because you gave me a headache for my troubles. Terrible writing.

Anonymous said...

Pls forgive her and I hope she does not learn d hard way.

Anonymous said...

What is stopping you from going to the kitchen and cooking yourself something to eat? African marriage be like heavy cross for woman body abeg.

Anonymous said...

poor guy...ever heard of the term "side chick"?

Anonymous said...

in her defense shes pregnant and preggers act like nut cases in some scenarios...

hire a maid to help her around the house nah...

maybe a calabar one with big booty

Unknown said...

Hmmm! wives pls starvation is neva a proper punishment 4 any1 nt even ur dog.poster I don't kno wat u did to ur wife to deserve dis watever it is u guys need to communicate ask her y she's mad @ u seek first to understand her then to b understood

Anonymous said...

*smiles* 1ce u̶̲̥̅̊ settle wiv her, dnt eat her food for as long as u̶̲̥̅̊ can nd try nt to quarrel wiv her! I bet u̶̲̥̅̊ she'l almost go crazy! Buh for divorce its nt it,nd bcos she's ur wife pls wish her well cos I know strongly dat no mata ur fights wiv her she'l always wish u̶̲̥̅̊ well! Cos if u̶̲̥̅̊ dnt 4give her now @ d early stage how will ur marriage last? Cos dis fight is just a tip of d iceberg oooo, plenty fights will stil come!

Anonymous said...

Oga, first off, sorry for your poor grammar and trying to use big big grammar to nack akpako for our head. Secondly, are you crying like a poor baby because your wife nor cook food for you; and, maybe insinuating that someting happen to your unborn child? I hope that's not the message I'm getting! Anyways, why 'expend' all your money on land when you have a baby on the way; a pregnant wife who eats alone; dont you know pregnant women gets the munchies and eat aLOT?! Btw, here is my advise for you....get some sense, then get some eudcation, and then learn how to cook for yourself...and to help out your pregant wife in the kitchen. She need the food more than YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

This husband, is your life problem food? Learn to boil water and make Eba for yourself ah ah!!! And madam is pregnant. Pls stop annoying your madam and take care of her. She's a moody pregnant woman. Simple and short.

Unknown said...

Call her to order,,,,,infact make it clear to her,,,,to stop,,,,,if she doesn't,,,,send her back to her parents house.....May be with that she may change

Anonymous said...

First of all Mr,no sin is unforgivable. That's why we celebrate Easter few days back.
Secondly,it seems you kinda rushed into this marriage without knowing who or what yhur dealing with. My best advice is for you to go seek help from a marriage counselor or better still,call for a meeting wwith her parents so you two can settle yourselves. Best of luck

Anonymous said...

Wat caused ur disagreement...cos u men re something else. u ll do something bad and still expect a woman to be good just because she's a woman...no she's a human just like u. So if u re wrong keep ur pride and apologize. In my own case my hubby doesn't eat my food if we have any quarrel

Anonymous said...

One question are u also a graduate because your narration was confusing. I don't ve any advice to give because we need to know your wife's story and both of you are vindictive so you are not better than her

Anonymous said...

U don buy market!

Utonwa said...

Nna let family put mouth for this matter o. hmmmmm,involve both families please.

Oluwa Bianca said...

Trust me dere is ntn 2 worry abut,u don't av 2 revenge u said she is pregnant her 1st child d tin is dis wen a woman is heavy dey act out of d ordinary dey go all crazy and shocking I am a woman some people get hospitalized 4rm day 1 dey discover dey r heavy,some get pissed @ every slightest opportunity,some eats like sum1 who is ready 2 die and all sort if she was never like dis den she is under d influence of d child u just av 2 cool her down and let her knw u r meaningless wifout her and d child over look all she is doing 4 d baby's sake she wuld come around soon I knw hw it feels just b strong for her and d child all she nids u bn over supportive wen she is pissed kal her and tell her u r sowie even wen u r wrong but if dis continue after aving u child den sumtn serious is wrong sumwhere

NK said...

That's bad! Bt pls dnt divorce her, jst complain 2 her parents or som 1 dat she listens 2. It could dat d pregancy is also contributing 2 da elicit behave.

Anonymous said...

Have you considered that she is hormonal, frustrated and tired?

Should she even be cooking?

You have so many preconceptions and misconceptions about what a wife should be I can imagine how frustrating it must be for your wife trying to talk to you yet you will throw words like "she is not a graduate thank God" at her.

Take the time and listen to your wife, ask her what is eating her up, she is most likely frustrated with you, your words and your notions, pregnancy is very hard and stressful, she is dealing with a lot be her man and not an over grown sulking whinning baby. She needs help, understanding and support not judgement, bitter side talk like "if she was a graduate God knows what she will do" that is a very wicked statement and quite myopic and shallow.

Talk with your wife LISTEN to what is eating her up.
And for heavens sake never make condescending statements about her level of education

Anonymous said...

Its funny hw plp dnt study d persin they re going 2 marry untl its 2 late. Hw cn u marry sm1 who is always bitter, its true plp hide who they re untl marriage bt dts why prayer is there nd smtmes we see bt choose 2 be blind. U cnt buy a cloth 4rm d mkt try 2 wear it nd see its nt ur siZe bt instead of returning it u force urself in2 it, thn whn it tears u decide 2 go return it, of course d seller wnt tk it: so divorce its nt an option stop thnkn about it nd work on ur marriage nd stop tkn advice 4rm those who say they wnt tolerate it, a lot them cnt control their wives excesses.if ur home breaks, it will be ur loss nt there's. Tlk wth ur wife, tell her d tins she's doing dt re gttn on ur nerves nd hear her part 2, communication is good whn its transmitted both ways, pray together nd if u cn seek a good Church 4 counseling, work hard 2 remain d bread winner nd be toLerant pls. A baby is on d way, u cnt afford 2 let dt baby down. God help u

Anonymous said...

Dis write up is wack..I dnt even understand a thing

Anonymous said...

Mehn.....dis grammar don make sleep clear from my eye...wetin!!

Anonymous said...

Make it stop please. His grammar, Christ! My brain is 'paining' me ( -_-)

Anonymous said...

Oga ur grammar is giving me headache already. Well don't pay her back wit evil.

Anonymous said...

If she ain't cooking for u, enter the kitchen and make food yourself. What kind of men did our mothers raise? Smh

Gaia said...

BEST way to pay a woman back; ignore her... Nothing will infuriate her more than you eating outside and just plain ignoring her... trust me she will come back to her senses fast fast!

Ije said...

1st of you need someone to proof read anything you write as this hardly makes sense. Why cant you make your own food, your pregnant wife is working anf paying the bills because your money is 'tied up' yet you want breakfast on the table. Kai womem don suffer for the sake of marriage.

sure boy said...

1st of all ur own issues shud b a source of worry 2 ur wife.

Anonymous said...

* speechless* I'm jus gonna sit back and let others comment
(born again child says so)

Anonymous said...

* speechless* I'm jus gonna sit back and let others comment
(born again child says so)

Anonymous said...

DUDE! YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT MARITAL, YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR HORRIBLE EXPRESSION OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND HUNGER, GET A DICTIONARY AND FOOD, YOU WOULD SEE THE WORLD FROM A BETTER ANGLE!

Anonymous said...

Just Pray for her cos Change is the only constant thing in nature, Moreso marriage is for better for worse and divorce and extra marital affairs are not good options. Prayer is the Only key, also work on urself too, u may have some lapses u need to adjust to in order to have a smooth Marriage; Let God and Love Lead!. I wish u a restful home.
DEBBIE_LUV says so

Unknown said...

First of all...Ur English is too much! r u showing off or u really need advice? Coz from what u just wrote, it's obvious u have ur own few problems! Secondly, can't u even cook? Enter d kitchen & cook! Ignore her, that's if u know how to cook anyways. Just ignore & wait for d safe arrival of ur baby. After d baby, if she doesn't change, u can try separating, but please don't try to revenge or anything...just free.

Anonymous said...

Just Pray for her cos Change is the only constant thing in nature, Moreso marriage is for better for worse and divorce and extra marital affairs are not good options. Prayer is the Only key, also work on urself too, u may have some lapses u need to adjust to in order to have a smooth Marriage; Let God and Love Lead!. I wish u a restful home.
DEBBIE_LUV says so

Anonymous said...

Dude,you should use some money to learn English please.
Can't make head nor tail about this your ish.

Anonymous said...

My advise, is u should be calm, pregnancy makes a lot of women act irrational. Keep loving her, try to make her understand u feel bad by her actions. Wish u d best

Anonymous said...

My advise, is u should be calm, pregnancy makes a lot of women act irrational. Keep loving her, try to make her understand u feel bad by her actions. Wish u d best

Unknown said...

The headache am getting from reading your bad punctuations wont allow me analyze your predicament.

Anonymous said...

take her out
spoil her
@d end of d day
when she is a good
u pour out ur mind sweetly

pray about it too

gettn married to a terrible partner
is lk hell on earth

#rock gurl#

julz said...

The matter hard and even the story hard to understand. Those who can advice let's hear from you.

Anonymous said...

...Lol.... Oga na hunger dey beat u like tis ?...lwkmd.... She's ur wife for God sake, wen she is eating u join her or carry d plate/pot of food run to ur room lock d door n eat it. Abeg jor tis is not an issue at all.u don't even knw hw to play sef, u too, u r proud.

Anonymous said...

Get some self esteem this guy. You don't know how to cook? All these lazy guys. If you can cook, no woman will use you and do guy. Cook your food, and if she refuses to feed you...you are covered. Sort your home out and stop sending silly letters to a community of people that will not even give you good advice. I tire for boys these days clothed in mens skin.

BlindlyAfrican said...

I don't understand, are you handicapped? or do you not know your way to the kitchen?! If your wife is spiteful let her be spiteful. The only reason she has this food issue over you is because she sees that it IS an issue. GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD.

This is the problem with backward minded men. Abi did you not say you both work, maybe pick up some things around the house! HER JOB IS NOT TO SERVE YOU! once you get that into your head. you guys can both move on or get a divorce, it seems like neither of you is ready for marriage! Check yourself before you Wreck yourself

Anonymous said...

My guy that thing u called a wife is not. Just look for your black goat now before it gets dark or else both you and your black goat will get lost. Any wife that always starve her hubby whenever there is quarrel between them is not a good woman.

Anonymous said...

I think you are an idiot, how can you wish bad on a woman carrying your child, you ignorant african. How about you learn to cook and if you are too dull to do that buy indomie like your mates

I don't particularly like u linda. said...

This ur english is probably y ur wife feels u shudnt eat.u don't wish her better n she dey carry ur pikin.may God do so and more to u,and to any woman u marry after her.Bible says Men love ur wives as Christ Loved the church,so u see ur life,illiterate.tufia,I spit in ur face.becus of food u don't wish ur wife well,anyway u deserve each other.and evil man and a nagging and proud wife.perfect hell match.

BlindlyAfrican said...

Wait, I don't understand are you handicapped? or is it that you don't know your way to the kitchen! The only reason this is an issue is because you have made it an issue! GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD. Let her be spiteful and immature.

This is the problem with small minded men! Granted your wife is being silly, but we don't know the full story ( you might have been acting like a bastard) ANYWAYS, as you said she is a "salary earner" HER JOB IS NOT TO SERVE YOU.

To be honest it seems neither of you is ready for marriage. Go and get a divorce instead of playing all these childish games! talking about " how do I pay this woman back" Biko JOKO!

Anonymous said...

Oga face ur marriage,every marriage has its ups &downs.don't invite anybody 2 teach u hw 2 run ur hope,enjoy both d sweet&bitter side of it.wit time u guys will understand urselves,its normal to hv differences but revenge will do no good.tolerate each other and above all be prayerful.

Anonymous said...

Forget about you wife for now mate, go back to school. I just grew dumber reading this piece. Extremely Incoherent.

Damochedxb said...

Omo men. A hungry man is an angry man. I couldn't understand your bitterness about not getting food prepared for you until I got to the end of your letter. Choi! Your wife is mean tho, she set u up. Lmao. Bro no wonder u said u have imagined alot things, hunger can make one do that. Lol. Sorry for laughing tho, I know its serious. But u gotta look for a way to get some food and make it seem like its from another woman, maybe a lady friend. U didn't mention if u had reported her to the elders in her family, pls do that aswell if u haven't. What ever u do. Try to get some food to eat bruv before u kill her out if hunger... I mean anger

Debbie Chelsea said...

Ur wife is wicked sha.......just calm down,4give her bcos of ur unborn Child pls.....

pelumi said...

Useless man because of food you don't wish a pregnant woman well. Wickedness

Anonymous said...

The story sef I no understand. Must you tie down all your money and depend on your undergraduate wife for her small salary. Person wey no reach to build house wey dey buy 2 land.

Mr man, you're just a joker. See you telling story like a woman. So you are keeping malice with your wife for 2 weeks and you cannot be the bigger person and apologise to her. For your marriage to work, you both (especially the man) has to put aside all this childish acts.

Infact both of you should divorce, why will a husband say his wife is 'naturaly bitter'. I just tire for you Mr.

Anonymous said...

First & foremost ur english is bad & d write up a bit clumsy! i don't think u both were ready 4 marriage becos it is amazing dat u didn't know or study ur wife enuf b4 marriage! If not u would hv seen sm of d traits she is exhibiting now...Also,it is possible dat u hv treated her badly 2 mk her behave in such a way 2 u...instead of planning hw 2 get bk @ ur wife sit down & iron things out or beta still go for counseling 2 help build yr marriage! Pray 4 ur wife instead of cursing & seeking revenge!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lmao because of food. Our dear wife pls feed him ooo

Anonymous said...

Wow..its no love.. Read sports news in yoruba language @ www.sportsinyoruba.wordpress.com

David (twitter.com) said...

Dude, these are silly complains. Since you've refused to perform your duties as a husband, what do you expects. She's a salary earner, thank God is not even a graduate yet, bla bla bla. Mtcheew! "This her singular act can never make me forgive her, because, for a woman to feel its her right not to make food in whichever guise, to me its an
unforgiving sin." Who told you it's an unforgiving sin. Make peace with your wife, I do not expect you to depend on her for feeding. Since you re so sure your investment will ripeoff soon, you can playfully/cheerfully request her to lend you some money since she's aware of the investments instead of asking her to feed you. Big up bro. She's under your roof as a wife and she should be treated as such.

Anonymous said...

Man up.sell one of ur lands.a broke man doesnt av an opinion.im sorry.im in d same shoes now.i fend for the family.at times i resent my husband....knowing him if he had a land he wud av sold it to put food on d table.u r coming here to say u av 2.abeg abeg jare.

Anonymous said...

If you ever or still feel any love for her, forgive her otherwise, wait patiently until you have money, lots of money and then show her who's the man, take care of you and your child while she takes care of herself, no money to her or any member of her family. Just a pinch of her own salt, if she's remorseful and begs, forgive and move on, why be unhappy in marriage when you can as well be happy.

El Clarividente said...

Get a female friend to cook for you. If she tries any drama or try to touch the woman. Defend that your female friend vehemently.Do this without saying/doing anything incriminating though and do not apologize for defending your friend. If she does not get the message.... Dude, walk away from that woman. She is not and a partner and can never ever..... EVER be one with that attitude. Walk away. Start your life all over now rather than after she destroys you.

3sha3sha12 said...

Only edDREAMZ can understand this write up. Am 99.99% he's the writer. Lol!

Anonymous said...

God help Nigeria if this writer is a graduate...
You're a heathen and illiterate....your wife is pregnant and you're wishing her ill? GTFOH!

Mama Ifu

Anonymous said...

i am a woman but i think it will pain me dearly to know my brother is going through this kind of nonsense.i will advise you the same way we advice women in any kind of emotional,verbal or physical advice.Take to your heels, this kind derives pleasure in your pain and mind you if you are not careful you will live like this for the rest of your life.My friend told me about her long suffering uncle who is ever hungry coz the controlling and manipulative wife[her family is even tired of her wicked ways] refuses to give him any food and incites their daughters against him.So the man is ever hungry,confused and detached add derogatory insults to that.DO you want to live like this for the rest of your life???

Anonymous said...

If u ask me, na who I go askk...... Hmmm! Mr man, I am a woman and thou I feel for you but der are certain things you are getting wrong. A man should not for any reason whatsoever delegate the responsibility of putting food on the table in d hands of his wife. NEVER O, YOU HEAR! Especially if he is the type dats loves to be regarded and respected all d time. That is your undoing. This should serve as a lesson for you because you just threw your respect outside the window.
From your write up, you used up your resources on buying two plots of land with the understanding and agreement of ur wife. Please I beg you, never make that mistake again. Women are different and the devil is always ready to take charge, coupled with the fact that she is pregnant now 'hormones' .
It's unfortunate the situation u have found ur self now but please now dat u are getting to know and understand your wife better, never delegate your responsibility to her again for your own peace of mind, sanity and well being. God did not create women to be the providers and so wen it happens majority of women after a while tend to take u for granted and wit the whispering of the devil, start misbehaving. Pele.... Just endure and don't put her too much in ur mind. Learn from dis and vow to ur self dat it won't repeat itself again. No matter aw small u have, always make sure you put something down for your families upkeep. It earns u some honour and respect and God too will continue to bless you with more. May God direct you.......

Anonymous said...

by your write-up, you shall know them. I can see why your wife doesn't respect you. You lack a backbone. I bet you cry when you make love to her.

thunderfireyou said...

this is why i would never marry an african man... cook your own food ozwor! plus she is pregnant on top of the matter... you are not a king so get off ur imaginary throne.

Anonymous said...

You're just a bastard! First of all, you need to go back and re-write this piece of crap. Secondly, you just come across as a little weak ass nigga. How can you come on a platform like LIB to seek advise on how to manage your wife? Did you seek advise from us before you married her? My friend take a seat. See, it is president Jonathan that needs advise right now...not you.

ADANNE.

Carlo Baptista said...

Mehnnn....broda I have worn those same shoes and I must confess its not funny. I make my wife's annual gross on one transaction, however these transactions can take up to 6 months tho materialize. We tend to fight a lot during my "Egypt" days. Howeve once I cross over to my promised land, we become best of buddies. Makes me feel like I could live without a wife sometimes, Especially when they rub it in.

Mr Val (Arc) said...

To me what I will say is that u will have to brg ur wife for forgiveness she is ur wife, u guys r joined together nog ca separate u guys in this world so the earlier u know that the better for you.

Unknown said...

Carry ur cross!!ur married,ask God to give u d grace to tolerate her and let him change her!

phykel said...

Send her packing
The journey is still long.
Some ladies are nt wife material.

Anonymous said...

With ur write up u must b an igbo illiterate.lolol

Anonymous said...

Be a real man and love your wife. Quit finding faults or thinking about terrible things and ideas. Love your wife and get close to God. you'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing u can do but manage her well until u ave money. Since u're broke swallow ur pride and beg 4 forgiveness. U can now take action when buoyant.

Anonymous said...

Impregnate her and go to Dubai and do teko there (means overstay the expiration of your visa indefinitely till the government catches you)
*** forst to comment ***

Anonymous said...

Both oF u r bitter!!!! Talk to her

Anonymous said...

Cook for ur self Mr, is something wrong with ur hand! Did u leave Money for food. Did u not date before getting married??? Abegi!!! It's your cross carry it

Anonymous said...

I agree with you that this singular act gives a glimpse into the kinda horrible person you are married to. Many women are so selfish and wicked that they can't even stand themselves.

I'm a strict man and I know how to react to such acts of wickedness. But the same solution wont work for everybody.

Don't let any wife you work so hard for treat you so badly. Life has its own ups and downs and a wife should not add to it.

Whatever you are considering, make sure it makes you very happy without caring what anybody thinks. Even the future of that child relies on your happiness.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm trying not to laugh, but I couldn't put what he was saying together....lmao! Invest in an English class pls! Damn! Lol.

Anonymous said...

This man must be mad. What does he mean by his wife has no right to not cook for him? Um she's a human being same as you, not some cooking robot you married for christ's sake. Jesus!

Je ne sais pas said...

Are you a christian?

If you are I'm not going to tell you to pray but send you back to the bible. Eph 5:2 instructs husbands to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

- How do you react when your wife (a woman you promised before God and your family to love) acts crazy and pisses you off?

And: In sacrificial love, like christ

Forgive her, communicate how hurt you feel and let her know you still love her. I know this clearly hurts your pride as a man and it seems like you are a 'mumu'. But bro, this is exactly how God treats us and our constant sin.

Also, I promise you, love and peace ALWAYYYS thrives when there is selfless forgiveness, communication and love.

hotgirl said...

Ur wife must be managing u with this engliish ur breaking here,i can imagine ur mouth smells as well. if I were her,not only would I starve u of food but of sex.

Anonymous said...

My dear don't divorce. Just get a girlfriend and make sure ur wife finds out somehow. And don't listen to any pray for her story bcos devil has nothing to do in dis issue. This life na tit for tat!

Anonymous said...

What do you wanna pay a pregnant woman with??? Why do you wanna pay her back so much? Two wrongs don't make a right and you don't sound like you love her. You sound like you have so much hatred in your heart for her. If she feels like she's punishing you, the only thing you can do is leave the house for her. Then she will realize how lonely it is to be pregnant, without a husband. Just don't harm her pls.

Anonymous said...

Keep loving her nonetheless. Don't listen to all the crap you're being told. She is your wife.

Anonymous said...

That is exactly the message this dude needs to hear. What is it with some men these days that you cant go into the kitchen and cook. So because she is a woman does that make her a slave? She is even pregnant so you should take up some of the responsibilities of the home yourself. You are not handicapped or paralysed so grow up and enter the kitchen. Baby boy.

Anonymous said...

Big fool. See how your brain works,that is because you are gay, you don't reason anymore. Gays don't have misunderstandings Ewu .

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, you'll end up pile! Useless gay fish!

Anonymous said...

All you have complained about is food. Obviously you are a man who loves his belly, so make sure you have food all the time, don't you know how to make a simple sandwich or fry an egg? mtcheww.

Your wife is pregnant and still working and you expect she can do all the chores like before. Don't you know that the odour of many foods turn a pregnant woman's stomach? Yes, making them utterly nauseous and even causing them to vomit, maybe she is not preparing meals because she can't tolerate to make the foods you like.

She now has to prepare for a new addition to the household, why did you buy two plots of land knowing a new addition is coming to the family? You have now burdened her financially in her pregnant state, where you should be easing her burden. An unwise man who loves is belly is a dangerous creature.

Steveosky 4 Real. said...

Thunder fire that your mouth u are using to say u are gay!!. If you proud show your face and see what will happen.. Fool of the highest order.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm! There are always two sides to a story and something tells me that if your wife should speak now, the insults might be poured on you. In my experience, Men, no matter their race, beliefs etc, cannot be trusted and they always make themselves look like the abused, but I know better. Oga, you might be the exception but check yourself, because for me the food will be cooked but I will not serve anyone that does not respect my significance in their life. In other words, if I was in her position you will be serving yourself for a long time.

Cynhams Cakes, Abuja said...

No offence poster but from your write up, you seem abusive and disrespects your wife.

Some women are very good at payback. They can be the most loving woman on earth but if you cross fhe line, you will paydearly for it.

Poster try and understand your wife and avoid doing things that you know gets her upset.

Cynhams Cakes, Abuja said...

10000000 Likes. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Boss please try and act fast, work on your marriage and put it on the track to peace, love and understanding. No marriage is rosy it is just by the grace of God. I am presently in court for divorce, trust me it is not a journey I wish on anyone. My wife was rude, childish, cunny, deceitful and temperamental, she keeps malice for as long as 2 weeks over flimsy issues and refuses to acknowledge my presence or cook for me throughout, even when I try to make peace she won't budge. Along the line I found out she was always sharing nude photos with a different guys...I shouted and quarrelled....but to no avail till I finally found out she was neck deep in adultery and even carries our daughter to where she goes to have sex with her boyfriend....I told her to leave and my parents started begging me to forgive her...2 months after I caught her again with another new guy entirely.....I evenfound out she was pregnant and the new guy was responsible, when I confronted her she confessed and days after she eloped with the new guy...and her mother sees nothing wrong in all of these! Now she and her mother go about saying I get too angry and beat her...why won't I get angry? Why won't I slap her in annoyance when I open her phone and see photos of a guy's penis sent to her during lurid sex chats? And she also sends her own nude photos?Yet she won't even let me touch her!
My brother a woman who believes in marriage and fears God will do all in her power to make her marriage work even If you are a monster. Please try and if your efforts ain't yielding results please seek the face of God if spiritual solution isn't it then move on and look for a better woman. Your peace and health is paramount, dead or mad people don't stay married.

lovlyivon said...

U sell still sell one plot of the land nd use d money to establish urself then take her to SCOAN for deliverance

Anonymous said...

Thank you my dear, one sided indeed! Firstly, when a woman is pregnant her hormones are over the roof. You have to do your research too and not just whine and complain.... She has a lot of emotions going on and she would be short tempered and easily irritated. This is not an easy phase for any man (you can Google it) so you have to treat her lovingly and encourage her to tell you how she feels. I have been pregnant before and I thank God that I have a mature and God given husband cos I know there were times I just wanted to kill myself cos I was so emotional over nothing serious. You took a vow before God and man so fight to keep it. Encourage her with loving words and learn to pray together. Count all this as the small price you pay for being a father. Trust me, 99% of women are like this when pregnant and if you run away the next woman might be worse. Try as much as you can to be mature about this and like I said, lovingly let her know how you feel. Trust me, emotions in pregnant women go up and down and in her quiet time she would know she is being very silly and she would apologise. I want to believe that you are a christian, don't give room for evil to come into ur home. Totally ignore these evil comments from the pit of hell that some people are posting. Like you said, you are doing a biz and it might be slow in some days, don't expose ur new family to the devil be cheating becos of food (Not worth it).

Anonymous said...

Mhen...... I'm a woman too and I can state categorically that ur wife isn't ready to builD her home. Shuo!!! Like they say, pride goes b4 a fall. I pray that won't be her portion. Talk to her na! Tell her ur mind. You should be in control of ur home even when u don't have money. God please o!!!!!! That's the easiest way to send a man out of the home... By starving him. That woman na kpass!! Mshewwwwww!!

Anonymous said...

Ode! The guy say he no get money for now, cos his money is tied up in biz.
Tj

Unknown said...

U know her better than us here talk to her about ur likes and. Dislikes becos nobody is. Perfect then u can't. Find any changes then u know she not readly to change u are till courting. . . . . The only TAMI $ SWITS COLLECTION ( Looking gud is my busines)

Unknown said...

So becos of this woman, u tag all women bitches thereby justifying ur illegal n sinful act. Congratulations o! Weldone.

Anonymous said...

U know sabi read? The guy is fucking broke!! So how will he do all these things you are suggesting?

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain bro. this looks like that kinda situation president Jonathan sets up another committee for.

Anonymous said...

bunch of ignoraant idiots! Why dont you get your ass in the kiitchen and cook bastard. The woman is pregnant for God sake, there are something called hormones, you illiterate fools!

Anonymous said...

bunch of ignoraant idiots! Why dont you get your ass in the kiitchen and cook bastard. The woman is pregnant for God sake, there are something called hormones, you illiterate fools!

Anonymous said...

guy, you no go school. illiterate like yourself. see as u dey write english that even a primary school student will be ashamed to write. no wonder you are easily intimidated by your wife. shes' probably smarter and does not deserve you. one can just tell by your writeup that you are uneducated and unlearned and primitive. u must be igbo. no offense but a lot of yall are always quick to assume women are lesser and also always quick to revenge. are u a bitch? revenge on a woman o. what a pussy

Loisy said...

U no hear say money no dey@ d moment?

Anonymous said...

Easy thr dude....ur own mother s a woman tooo except u jez fell 4rm heaven......nd as 4 been gay?e dey ur body....*asabi*

margaret said...

Ya I agree wit u

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